Like the leaf on the rooftop
by LalaHachi
Summary: Are you currently in a relationship?" 'Yes I am, I'm with Axel' ”If the answer was yes, are you happy in your relationship?” ’No- I mean yes - Well actually no, but sometimes he can be really nice. Though mostly he’s an ass...’ AkuRoku
1. Chapter 1

**LalaHachi:** I don't own anything. Sadly.

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I look at the question a thousand times and then a thousand more. "Are you currently in a relationship?" 'Yes I am, I'm with Axel' is the obvious answer. But the question that follows is the problem. "If the answer was yes, are you happy in your relationship?" 'No- I mean yes - Well actually no, but sometimes he can be really nice. Though mostly he's an ass...'

That's not a good answer. Am I happy with Axel? Mostly I just feel like I'm a burden for him.

He also cheated on me once. But I took him back. I forgave him. Him cheating, makes me unhappy. So what is the right answer?

I put away the questions, thinking that I don't need to do them. It's not like they'll save a life or something. They're just a bunch of stupid questions someone with WAY too much time to spare wrote down.

As if someone's watching my every move, Kairi calls.

"Hello, _Roxas_!" She answers as I pick up the phone.

"Hi, Kairi..." I mumble and roll my eyes at the way she pronounced my name. Why does she even call me? Why does she ALWAYS call me?

"How's the questions going? Which one are you on?" She asks curiously.

Something tells me she only gave me this in the first place so that I'd break up with Axel. "Oh, I haven't even started yet!" I lie.

"Then you better start right away! I want to see the answers!" She states innocently. 'Of course you do, you little...'

"What makes you think I'll show the answers to you? Or even do these questions?" I snap, starting to get annoyed of the way she pries in my personal life as well as her supposedly hidden motives of breaking me and Axel up.

"Oh, so you got stuck on one of the questions?" She asks and sighs.

Okay, how the hell did she know? Oh whatever, she can't know that for sure! I'll just lie to her...

"No, I just don't have time to do them right now!" I hiss a tiny bit too defensive.

"Did you and Axel fight again?" She asks, prying as usual. 'I swear to God, someday I'll take a needle and thread and use them to make sure she never. Talks. AGAIN!"'

"NO! And if we did, why would I tell you of all people?!" I scream before I hung up.

I tell myself to breath slowly for a moment and calm down. After about five seconds the phone rings again. I look at the caller ID and painfully read the name 'Kairi'.

I answer and yell in the phone "WHAT?!". So much for calming down...

"You might feel better if you talk about-" She says before I once again hang up.

I hate Kairi sometimes. I really do.

The phone rings again and I don't even bother looking who's calling, I just answer it with a "STOP CALLING! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!"

"Eh... Roxas?" Axel's voice trembles.

"Oh, sorry... I thought you were someone else..." I mumble while blushing in deep red.

"Kairi, perhaps?" Axel chuckles.

"Yeah, kind of..." I mumble.

"Okay, good. I was a bit shocked about the way you answered at first. But anyhow, want to meet today?" Axel asks nicely.

"Eh..." Not really, Axel. "No, I've got to finish this quiz that Kairi keeps nagging me about." I lie. 'Yes, I know you're not supposed to lie to your boyfriend but I really don't want to see him right now.'

"Oh, what's it about?" Axel asks curiously.

"Eh... Nothing, really. Just one of those test about feelings." I say and chuckle nervously, hoping he'll buy it.

"Oh, that crap. Why do you even do that? And doesn't that take like ten minutes to finish?" Axel asks.

Damn, he got me. "Well, you have to describe your feelings in detail and there is many question left." I lie, praying to God he'll buy it.

"Then don't do it and hang out with me." Axel states.

"I promised I'd do it." I explain, hoping he'll give up soon.

"Then I'll help you do it." Axel suggests.

... Why doesn't he get the hint?

"But..." I start but he interrupts me.

"I'm on my way! Bye Rox!" He says and hangs up.

* * *

**LalaHachi:** How do you like it so far? Did it suck? Too rushed? Stupid? OOC?


	2. Chapter 2

**LalaHachi:** Short chapter =/

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"So what's the problem with the quiz?" Axel asks as he enters my apartment.

"The problem is" I start, pissed like hell at him. "that I can't answer if I'm happy in this relationship or not!" I scream slamming the quiz in the table in front of me.

Axel looks at the quiz in front of him and then at me.

"Roxas..." He purrs softly and wipes some of the tears away from my face.

"No, Axel! How can I not know if I'm happy with you or not?" I rant. "How is that possible?" I continue as the tears fall down.

"Roxas... It's okay to be confused," Axel says and kisses my forehead.

"But I should know this!" I continue to sob.

"We are happy Roxas. We've just had a lot of problems lately." Axel murmurs and kisses my ear.

"Right." I say though I know that's a lie. We aren't happy. Not like this.

Axel bends over and plants a kiss on my lips.

"I love you, Roxas. That's all that matters." He states and kisses me again.

"I love you too Axel." I say as he kisses me again. His soft, gentle but still forceful lips nibble my lower lip for entrance and that tingling feeling I know too well overflows me and I feel happy. But soon it will all be over. Soon he'll want more out of this and when he's gotten it, he'll leave me here alone.

When his lips doesn't get the entrance they want so badly, they move to my neck and attack it forcefully.

I know I should tell him to leave. I know I should, but I just can't. I'm not strong enough yet.

Axels lips find their way to my special spot and attack it brutally. I moan and my body responds to his attacks.

When he once again begs for entrance for my mouth, I grant him it gladly, though I know I shouldn't. I should tell him to leave but I just can't. I'm not strong enough.

* * *

**LalaHachi:** What did you think? :O


	3. Chapter 3

**LalaHachi: **Here's the next chapter ^^

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I didn't have the courage to tell Axel to go home but I did have the courage to say I needed something to eat. So here we are, on the way home from the restaurant. We're almost at Axel's place now.

"Roxas, I'm sorry if I made you upset before." Axel says and stroke my hair.

"It's okay, you didn't do it on purpose." I mumble.

He kisses my forehead and smile.

When we're outside his house, he takes my hands and look deep into my eyes. I know what he wants, but I don't want to give it to him right now.

"Want to sleep over here?" He asks and smiles nicely at me.

His smile is tempting but I just can't say yes that easily.

"No, thanks. I should get home and finish the quiz." I say and start walking away.

Axel grabs my arm gently and make me face him. "Will you please stay the night at my place? We can watch a movie if you want to." He says, and while he's saying it, his other hand, the one not holding my arm, is teasing my body to the max.

I shudder in pleasure and Axel take it as a yes. He picks me up, carries me up the stairs in to his apartment and sets me down as he takes of his coat.

"Go choose a movie, will ya?" He demands. Though it was technically a question 'no' isn't an answer.

I go to the living room and up to the wooden shelf with the movies. Axel's living room is big. Bigger then my apartment actually. It's kind of freaky.

I look through the movies without finding one single movie I'd like to see. They are all porno or horrors if you ask me. I bet that if I looked closer I'd find a decent movie, but I'm just too tired. And I already know how today will end up. We will watch some weird movie Axel likes, then he'll take me to his bedroom. If I skip the weird movie part, this will be over sooner.

"Find anything you like?" Axel asks.

"Not really..." I mumble.

"Good thing I bought this movie yesterday then!" He says and smiles at me as he reaches me a romantic comedy.

"You bought this just for me?" I ask and feel kind of happy.

"Yeah, since you don't like any of the movies I already have." He says and kisses my forehead.

Axel can be so sweet sometimes. I love that side of him and it makes me happy to be around him when he's like that.

"Why don't we skip the movie?" I suggest. His sweet side can disappear pretty fast so I better make the best of it. Besides I really love him right now. Soon it will past and I'll be miserable again, so why not enjoy the moment?

"I like how you think, Rox." Axel says and smiles as he bends down and kisses me softly on the lips. I put my arms around his neck and kiss him back.

This relationship will never last. Not like this. So why not enjoy it to the fullest while it's possible? Why not stay here, in this kiss, as long as possible? Why not?

* * *

**LalaHachi:** Too short? :O


	4. Chapter 4

"So how's it going with Axel, Roxas?" Kairi says teasingly.

We are currently sitting on a diner, waiting for some friends.

I almost spit out all the water I have in my mouth. How the hell does she know that I spent the night at Axels place? But she can't know that for sure, right? I'll just lie...

"Fine, I guess." I say casually and shrug.

"When was the last time you met?" Sora asks and raises an eyebrow.

"Eh..." I stammer. "A week ago." I lie.

"Is that true, Roxas?" Kairi says piercing.

"Yes, it is." I state and glare at her.

"Is it reeeally now?" She continues, ignoring my glare.

"Yes, it IS!" I almost scream at her.

"You have anger issues, you know that right?" Riku says casually.

"Do not!" I say loudly and slam my fist in the table.

"Yes, you have..." Kairi and Sora agrees.

"No, I don't. Now if you don't have anything more to say, let me leave!" I state and glare at them.

"You're staying here. The others will be coming soon." Kairi states and glare back at me.

The others are, in this case, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Demyx, Zexion and Naminé. Once that included Axel too, but everyone's mad at him for cheating on me. Everyone but me. Isn't that odd?

"Why do I have to see them?" I ask and roll my eyes.

"Because, they want to see you." Riku answers.

"Well, what if don't want to see them?" I ask and the others, Kairi, Sora and Riku, look at each other meaningly.

"You don't want to see us, Rox?" I hear a hurt voice behind me say. 'Oh crap...'

"Because if that's the case, we'll leave right now." Zexion says.

"I said IF, okay? I want to see you, I just prefer to have a choice." I state.

"Good." Hayner says and hits me lightly on the shoulder.

"So, how's it going with Axel?" Olette asks as she sits down at the diner table.

"Fine." I state coldly.

"Geez, Roxas! Loosen' up, will ya?" Hayner says and roll his eyes.

"Yeah, sorry. It's just that everyone keeps asking." I say and fake-smile.

I say it's fine, but is it really? Is everything really fine? I don't know... I guess that's why I haven't told them I spend the night at his place yet.

"So, I saw you together at a restaurant yesterday." Pence says casually and I tense up. "How did it go?"

"Eh..." I start.

"YOU SAID THE LAST TIME YOU MET WAS LAST WEEK!" Kairi screams at me and I cover my ears from the sound. "So you lie to us now, huh?" She then asks a bit calmer.

"It's none of you guys business." I state coldly.

"That's where you're wrong." Zexion scoffs.

"We're your friends, we care about you!" Demyx exclaims.

I sigh and look up at them. "I know. Sorry, but I just don't want to talk about it, okay?" I say and force myself to smile.

The others look at each other meaning and sigh.

"I guess that means stuff aren't just 'fine', does it?" Kairi says and sigh.

"I guess it does." I mumble.

"You really should break up with him, if you ask me!" Hayner says and everyone glares at him. "What?" He asks and everyone rolls their eyes. I can't help but laugh at the stupidity of Hayner. Everyone looks at me and smiles.

When I'm with these guys I'm happy too. But in another way. A very different way.

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**LalaHachi:** My computer refuses to upload documents here _ Lucky for you, I already had one with the text :o As soon as it works I'll upload the next chapter _


	5. Chapter 5

**LalaHachi:** In this chapter you'll get the name of the story :o I think atleast xD

**Random thingy:** Swedish music is kinda creepy... I was listening to Veronica Maggio and she scares me... She sang a whole song about her never being satisfied when it comes to guys... I might do a songfic to that because that would be hilarious if you ask me xD But the songs in swedish so it'll be hard O.o What do you think?

* * *

"I saw you with your friends at the diner." Axel states as we walk through the park. I look up from the ground and look at him. "Do they still hate me?" He asks and frown.

"Kind of..." I say reluctantly.

Axel just chuckles.

'It's really cold' I think. 'And I forgot my gloves...'

I look up at Axel who is staring out at something I can't see. He's not here right now, he's somewhere else. He's busy thinking about something, or someone, that's somewhere else.

"Axel..." I approach.

He doesn't even acknowledge me.

It's freezing outside and my fingers are shifting color. Axel is always so warm. So I slip my hand into his and clung onto him. He looks down at me and smiles.

Axel doesn't actually like holding hands in public. Actually he avoids doing anything but talk to me in public. It's probably because I'm so young and he thinks everyone will call him pedophile and stuff. But I don't know. I haven't asked. It's none of my business. Not really anyway.

"Are you cold, Roxas?" Axel asks and smile at me.

"A bit," I say casually and shrug.

"Want to head home?" Axel asks.

"Not yet..." I say and grin at him.

"Okay," Axel says and shrug. He returns to his zombie state, thinking about something. I wish he'd come back here or at least think about me and no one else when he's with me.

Yeah, I'm a bit selfish sometimes, live with it.

"Axel?" I call out again.

He doesn't acknowledge me now either.

"Let's go home," I say and sigh as I pull him in opposite direction towards my apartment.

The leaves are leaving the trees for the ground by the rule of gravity.

The winds teases the leaves by blowing them further and further away from the ground to then let them fall down until they're almost there before blowing them away again. Almost as if the wind wants them to keep hoping to reach the ground, because soon enough they will.

I'm just like the leaf in a way. Though, I know for sure I'll never reach Axel when his like this. I know I'll never be able to understand him. I know I'll never get him to tell me his story and childhood memories. So why am I hoping for it? Or is Axel a lot like the wind? Maybe one day, everything will be perfect between us. Maybe, just maybe, one day, we'll live happily ever after together. No unreachable Axel that cheats on me, instead a happy, understanding Axel, the way he used to be.

I watch one of the leaves land on a roof top.

No matter how hard it tries, it will never reach the ground. Just like I'll probably never reach Axel. It will always be like this. A thick, unbreakable barrier between us.

I look at the leaf one more time where it lies on a roof top all alone.

Poor leaf. It will never reach the ground. Never.

I keep dragging Axel with me until we reach my apartment. Outside there's a fire truck and a police car.

"What happened?" I ask, panicked.

"Just a gas leak, though it will take a couple of days to repair." The police states.

Even the smallest blow from the wind matters. The leaf on the rooftop is caught by a tiny, tiny blow and leaves the rooftop and falls down to the ground. It's always possible for a small thing to change everything. Maybe it doesn't matter to anyone else but to someone, it might be really important.

* * *

**LalaHachi:** The leaf part is really random because I was tired when I wrote this...

My computer still refuses to upload documents but I've outsmarted it :D I copied the text into an document I've already used once :D

Apparently it's not just me who's having these problems. I guess that's... good in a way...


	6. Chapter 6

**LalaHachi:** IT FINALLY WORKS! :D

* * *

While I wait for the gas leak to be repaired, I live with Axel. I've noticed he doesn't want me here, but he doesn't say anything about it. And I'd rather be at home alone too. I long for home, but it's impossible to be there. I guess the only thing to do is to finish the quiz now that I have the time.

"I'll be back in an hour. I'm just gonna go to buy some stuff. Bye, Rox!" Axel says and slams the door behind him.

He's in a bad mood. I think. It's probably because I'm here.

... This quiz is ridiculous. "What's your favorite colors? Why?" "What's your favorite songs? Why?" "What's your favorite books? Why?" What does this have to do with ANYTHING? It's not like anyone can figure out my feelings just from me saying my favorite color, song or book. Seriously, people are just getting more stupid each day. If they ask what my favorite food is, I'm gonna write needles.

I put away the test without answering a single a question. Because, to be honest, I just don't feel like it.

I throw myself on Axel's couch to take a nap. I think this is the first time I've laid here without Axel on top of me.

... That says a lot about our relationship.

An annoying ring cuts threw my thoughts. I locate the sound to the door and open it without thinking it through. I can't open Axel's door! Am I STUPID OR SOMETHING?

Outside the door, a pink haired man in Axel's age is standing.

"Hello, can I help you?" I ask politely. I've already opened the door so why not go all the way?

"I'm looking for Axel. Is he in?" The pink haired man asks shortly.

"No, sorry. Can I leave a message?" I ask a little less politely.

"Hmm, can I leave something that important to a simple maid? And why are you answering his door?" The pink haired man questions.

As I'm still a bit embarrassed for opening the door, the only thing I say is; "I'm not a maid."

"Well then. Tell Axel that I won't be able to meet him at that love hotel tonight. My darling is suspecting something and he might follow me tonight and find out what's going on."

And so the leaf swirl up again, further and further from the ground and this time it might not ever come back. A blow that strong can blow it up on another roof top. And maybe it will be stuck there forever. Maybe it wasn't meant to be happy on the ground. Maybe it was supposed to be unhappy and lonely up there. Forever. Maybe it's just destiny.

* * *

**LalaHachi:** That thingy in the end with the leaf was super random... Just so you know...


	7. Chapter 7

"An-and who-who sho-should I-I sa-say said-said t-this?" I stutter out.

"His beloved Marluxia." The pink haired man says and start walking away.

I close the door slowly and go back to the couch. I let myself fall down on it and put a pillow over my face to cover it.

"I knew this would happen..." I sob to myself.

And there I sit for another hour or something and just cry. And cry, and cry until there's no tears left. By then, the pillow is soaking wet and my thoughts are wandering away to all those places it they went to last time this happened. 'Maybe he hates me? Maybe I hate him? Maybe we were never in love for real? Maybe it would've been better if we never met? Maybe it's all because of me? Maybe I'm a bad boyfriend? Maybe everything would've been different if I hadn't said those things?' All those questions haunt my mind without finding answers.

In all my misery, my cell rings.

"Hello?" I answer and try hard not to let my voice show my emotions.

"Hi, Roxas. It's Axel. I'll be home in an hour or something. I met a friend on town and we're going to hang out a bit." Axel say carelessly.

"Who-who?" I stutter and clear my throat. "Which friend?" I ask and swallow the tears.

"Oh, you don't know him. His name is Marluxia." Axel say casually.

I swallow the tears once again. "Oh..." I get out. "Well, then I'll see you later..." I mumble.

"Yeah, bye!" He says and hangs up before I can say goodbye.

I sniffle as the tears well up. I bury my head in the soaked pillow again.

My phone rings. Several times, but I don't answer. I don't want to talk to anyone.

When it calls for the fifteenth time, I flip it open. "I don't want to talk right now. Stop calling," I say tiredly and hear Kairi's protests right before I hang up.

Half an hour later there's the same disturbing noise that broke my thoughts earlier. The doorbell.

Without thinking I open the door and smack my forehead as I do for my stupidity of opening Axel's door the second time that day. Without being able to see who it is the person storms by me.

"WHERE IS HE?? WHERE IS THAT ASSHOLE??" Kairi screams as she runs around in the house. Naminé and Olette follows her quietly.

"You mean Axel?" I ask quietly.

"OF COURSE I MEAN AXEL!! WHO ELSE WOULD I MEAN??" Kairi yells furiously.

"He's out with a friend." I say and sigh.

Kairi stops in her tracks and looks back at me. Without my permission, tears have invaded my eyes.

"Oh my poor baby!" She says as she runs up and hugs me tightly. "What happened? You sounded so upset on the phone!" She lets go of me and look me in the eyes as she places me on the couch and herself beside me.

Of course I sounded upset. The only thing I said was that I didn't want to talk to anyone. "Nothing really." I say and laugh bitterly.

"Roxas, please tell us." Naminé says so concerning I just can't lie to them. Besides, I'm to tired of everything to resist a helping hand.

"He's cheating on me again." I state quietly.


	8. Chapter 8

"I'm going to kill him." Kairi states calmly. TOO calmly.

"No, Kairi, don't..." I mumble.

"HE CAN'T DO THIS TO YOU!" She screams.

"She's right, Roxas." Olette says and smiles comforting towards me.

"I just can't bother with this anymore..." I mumble and bury my head in my hands.

"He can't get away with this!" Kairi states. "Roxas! Do you really want him to get away with this?" She asks and look at me sympathizing.

"I don't really care anymore." I say and swallow my tears.

"Naminé. Olette. Go outside and call the others." She states. "Make them come and get Roxas away from here."

"Yes, madam." They both say. They seem scared of Kairi and rush out.

Kairi pats my back and hold me to her chest while telling me to let it all out. But I just can't cry anymore. What's the point?

A couple of minutes later, the front door opens.

"Rox, I'm home!" Axel yells happily.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Kairi screams and start hitting his chest. "HOW DARE YOU CALL ROXAS 'ROX' LIKE YOU'RE HIS FRIEND!"

To be honest, Axel doesn't seem to be affected by Kairi's weak attempts. His confused eyes meet mine and I look away.

Kairi looks back at me and then at Axel. "DON'T EVEN LOOK AT HIM!" She screams and knees him.

THAT he reacts to. He falls down to the floor in pain.

"Kairi, stop it." I say coldly. "Let him be."

"WHY? HE DESERVES IT!" She screams. One look from me and she backs away from him.

Axel stands up, with a facial expression showing the pain he is in, and glares at Kairi who walks outside. "What was that about, Rox?" He asks casually.

"Why, Axel?" I sob. "Why did you cheat on me again?"

"I thought that would be obvious." Axel states coldly. "You never want to see me and I get lonely. It's all a part of the grown-up life."

"Axel..." I whisper through my sobs. "Why didn't you tell me that? I could've changed that." I mumble weakly.

"Oh, don't try to make this MY fault. This is 100% YOUR fault." Axel hisses. "We're both grown-ups now, right?"

"I know." I state quietly. It is my fault. It's always my fault. Everything is my fault.

"You should be happy I didn't leave you. And that I won't now either." He says and smiles shortly towards me as to say that the conversation is over.

Suddenly Hayner slams the door open, followed by Kairi and Riku. Hayner looks at me first, then at Axel.

"Well, hello! Visitors!" Axel says and smiles mockingly.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Hayner yells and tries to break free from Naminé and Olette that is holding him there. "LET ME GO!! I'M GONNA KICK HIS ASS!!"

"No, you can't. Not right now at least." Olette says and glares at Axel.

"We're here to pick up Roxas. He's going to be living with me for a while now." Sora hisses towards Axel.

"Of course." Axel says and smiles at him.

I stand up and walk out of there without another word.

It's all my fault. Everything is.


	9. Chapter 9

After living with Sora for a couple of weeks, it feels good to be home. Home in my beloved little apartment. I dance around in joy. All my thoughts of Axel have disappeared for now. It's hard to be depressed around Sora and I feel a lot better now. Then suddenly I stop in front of a case with pictures.

In the middle there's a photo of me and Axel. It's one of those really nice photos that brings back memories every time you look at it. It was right after we started dating. Before the problems, when my friends still liked Axel. The good mood disappears and a gloomy silence replaces it. I just stare at the photo for a while. Then suddenly, a tear roll down my face. I quickly wipe it away.

Axel is my past from now on.

The phone rings and I check the caller ID in case it's Axel. It is.

I ignore the phone call and as to show myself that I'm busy, I start looking at the books in the bookcase. I've read them all. 'Well, I could always re-read one of them.' I think and pick one.

The phone stop ringing for a couple of minutes before it starts again.

I check who it is and this time it's Kairi. I pick up the phone with a "Hello?".

"Hello, _Roxas_." Kairi says and giggles.

"Did you want something?" I say and chuckle at Kairi's weird humor. She might be drunk actually. I mean, who giggles at a name being said in a weird way?

"Yes, I did... I saw that Marluxia guy get dumped just now on a club." Kairi says and giggles.

Yeah, if she was, or is, on a club then she's definitely drunk.

Not that it's odd that she is on one. It is 8 pm on a Saturday after all.

"That's great!" I say, though I don't really care.

"Yeah, isn't it?" She asks and giggles again. "Oh wait... Can I call you back in a minute?" She asks and giggles even more.

"Sure, Kairi." I say and she hangs up.

One minute later the phone rings and I pick it up without checking the caller ID.

"Hi!" I say cheerfully.

"Hi, Rox." Axel greets me on the other side of the line.

'Oh no...' "Hi, Axel." I say and force myself to sound polite.

"So, what are you up to?" Axel asks casually. "I've been trying to call you for a while now."

"I was out with a couple of friends and just got back." I lie.

"Okay..." Axel says and it gets quiet. "I'm sorry, Roxas. I'm sorry for everything, I really am."

"You should be!" I hiss out without thinking first. Though Axel doesn't hear me so no harm done. Not that it would have done that much harm in the first place.

"So, how are things?" Axel continues.

"Good, I guess. And you?" I ask, most out of politeness.

"Bad. I miss you so much..." Axel says sadly.

"Oh," I say shortly.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to meet someday." Axel says.

"And do what?" I ask. I know that no matter what his answer is the real reason is that he wants to sleep with me.

"I don't know. Have some dinner maybe?" Axel says casually.

"OH FUCK OFF!" I scream in the phone and hang up.

And that day, for the first time ever, I told Axel to fuck off.


	10. Chapter 10

"I have to get going now." He says and smiles apologetically.

"Bye then!" I say and smile sunny at him.

He shines up like a little child getting away without a punishment. "Okay, bye Roxas!" Hayner says and start running down the street. 'Silly boy.'

I smile at it as I start walking home. It's been about three months since that last phone call with Axel. I am so much happier but single, of course. I've been on a few dates but nothing has worked out. Yet. That's my new favorite word; yet. Nothing has happened YET. Kairi hasn't learned to be quiet YET. I'm not a millionaire YET. And so on. I chuckle to myself as I walk with my head bent so I'm looking at the ground.

"Roxas!" Someone calls and I turn around.

Axel.

"Hi, Axel!" I say politely. It can't hurt to talk to him.

"Long time, no see!" Axel says and smile at me.

"Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it?" I say and smile.

"Sure has." Axel says and looks at his clock. "I'm free for another two hours. Want to grab something to eat? It's on me!"

... And so I ended up having lunch with Axel.

"So how you've been?" Axel asks and I almost feel like laughing. That might be the most common line to say when you meet your ex.

"I've been pretty good. You?" I say and smile at him.

"Been better." He states simply.

"Who hasn't?" I say and laugh bitterly.

"True." Axel says and responds my bitter laugh.

And then silence. Awkward, thick silence.

"So how's it going at work?" I break the awkward silence.

"Good, actually." Axel says and smiles. "And you?"

"Don't have one, remember?" I say and roll my eyes.

"Oh right, sorry." Axel says and smile. "So, are you seeing anyone right now?"

Another typical question you ask your ex. "No, you?" I ask.

"No." Axel says.

"What about that Marluxia-guy?" I say a tad bit coldly.

Axel looks at me sympathizing. "No." He says.

Well that makes me feel so much happier. After we broke up, he DIDN'T get together with the one he cheated on me with. Oh that makes me so happy. Okay, I'm going to stop being sarcastic.

"I miss you, Roxas." Axel says out of nowhere.

"Huh?" I say and blink repeatedly in shock.

"I miss you, Roxas. A lot." Axel says again and sighs.

"Really now?" I say doubting.

Axel sighs and looks up at me. "Yes, really. And..." He starts and looks away from me. "I was wondering if you wanted to get back together." He says and scratches the back of his head.

Axel wants to get back together. Huh. But what do I want?

I want happiness. Is getting back together with Axel what you can call happiness? Or is it just foolishness?

All those caring and loving moments we've had together made me happy.

But the times he has cheated on me have just been pure hell.

I remember when we started dating and every time I looked into his eyes, they would be smiling playfully at me even though his facial expression was serious. I remember how he used to chew on pencils whenever he was deep in thoughts. Just looking into his eyes or watch him chew on pencils was happiness to me.

But I also remember all those lies and betrayals. That was the opposite of happiness. So what's my answer?

What do I want? I want the Axel I once had, not this Axel. And this Axel and that Axel are two different persons.

"No, Axel."


	11. Chapter 11

**LalaHachi****_: _**Axel's POV (Point of View)

_**

* * *

**_I blink repeatedly. I was shocked. "No?" I ask mockingly. It wasn't meant to be come out like that but it did anyway.

"No." Roxas says firmly. "No, I don't want to get together with you ever again." He stands up and starts leaving the diner.

I follow him and he starts running down the street. I catch up with him and grabs his wrist.

"Roxas, please..." I plea desperately. "Can't we try to work this out?"

For a moment, Roxas looks at me blankly. Then his lips start twitching and his facial expression changes slowly into what seems to be a smile. "No, Axel. I hate you." He says softly while smiling.

"You don't mean that." I state, mostly because I don't want it to be true.

"Yes, I do." Roxas says calmly and keep smiling. "I consider you the scum of earth actually."

"Roxas..." I start desperately.

"No. For once in your life, listen to ME!" Roxas starts. His voice gets louder and his smile disappears.

I nod once to show that I'll listen.

"When we started dating I thought you were the best thing that had happen to me. You were so sweet and caring. But now you act like I'm just a burden and that I should praise you for putting up with me!" He screams.

The streets are empty but if they weren't, everyone's eyes would be on us.

'He has a point though,' I think. 'I've been horrible lately.'

"Roxas..." I start and reach out for his cheek.

"NO! SHUT UP!! LISTEN TO ME!!" Roxas screams loudly and jerks away from my hand. "YOU CHEATED ON ME! AND THEN YOU BLAMED IT ON ME! THAT'S NOT OKAY!!"

"I know, but-" I start, not sure what I'm planning to say before he stops me.

"What? What are you going to say? 'I'm sorry, Roxas. I can change'? BECAUSE IF YOU ARE THEN YOU CAN STOP RIGHT NOW! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!" He screams and I can see tears form in his eyes.

"I know..." I mumble quietly.

"THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He screams.

"You." I mumble.

"Well, it's too late for that." He states and starts walking away. "Goodbye Axel. Goodbye forever!"


	12. Chapter 12

"Roxas, will you PLEASE do the quiz?" Kairi beg on the phone.

It's been half a year since I told Axel that I never wanted to see him again. In the beginning he called, but he's given up by now.

"I'm not in the mood." I mutter. I'm depressed, but I don't know why. I don't have any reason, really.

"PLEASE DO THE QUIZ?!" She scream on the phone.

"FINE! BUT THEN YOU'VE GOT TO STOP BOTHERING ME!" I scream back and hung up.

I look at the test for a moment. Well, why not?

Half an hour later, I'm done and Kairi's there to examine my answers.

"Roxas..." She starts. "This is just a theory..." She pauses and looks over my answers one more time. "But I think you're depressed because you miss Axel." She states.

"No! That isn't it!" I say defensively.

"What's your favourite colors? Why?" She reads from the quiz. "Red and green, because they remind me of Axel's hair and eyes." She looks up at me, waiting for an excuse.

"He's a good looking guy and I like remembering him." I say as an excuse. I know that she's right. I miss Axel.

"What's your favorite songs? Why? Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, because it was the first song me and Axel danced to." She eyes me again, waiting for an excuse.

"It gives the song a deeper meaning to me. Besides, it's a good song." I state simply.

"What's your favorite books? Why? I like the manga Love Com because it reminds me of Axel's and my relationship." Kairi gets enough of my answers and rip the test in two halves. "What. The. FUCK, Roxas?" She hiss at me.

"I just answered the questions," I answer casually.

"I hate saying this, but you're so not over Axel," Kairi states.

"Says who?" I ask and raise an eyebrow though I know she's right.

"Everyone you'll ever ask." She answers and put on her coat. "I have to go now but I'll be back later." She states as she opens the door. "Bye Rox," She says and leaves.

"Bye Kairi," I mumble to the closed door before going back into my living room. I can almost hear Axel whisper 'Finally! I thought she'd never leave!' and start kissing my neck like he used to. God do I miss him...

The tears roll down my face for the third time today. It feels like crying is the only thing I do these days. Sleep, cry, eat, cry, eat more, cry, get bugged by someone (mostly Kairi), cry, eat and sleep. It's almost depressing to think about how depressed I am. If Axel was here, he'd tell me that if I didn't stop crying I'd end up like Zexion. Then I'd laugh and smile at him. And he would smile back, before challenging me for another game of Tekken or something. Like he used to.

I remember when we were saying random facts and Axel came with "In movies, evil dudes eat apples and are brittish. That's why I don't trust Luxord." and I laughed so much I started crying. Sure, Luxord were brittish and almost always ate apples but he wasn't evil. Axel had a serious expression on, though his eyes were smiling playfully, as he said "You never know what he could be up to..."

I realize that I'm laughing, through the tears, at the memory as a smile pride my lips. 'Axel sure was different back then. I wonder where it all went wrong...' I think though I actually know why. It's all my fault. Why did I say all those stupid things? Why couldn't I just have let it be?

I pull my hair to let out my anger but it doesn't work. I know there's razorblades in the bathroom but I tell myself I shouldn't. But, even though my body feels heavy and the voices in my head tells me to stop, I walk over to the bathroom door and slowly reach for the door knob...

A ringing noise breaks through my apartment. The door.

'Probably Kairi, coming to take care of me. Well guess what! I don't need anyone to take care of me!' I think defiantly as I rip the door open. I find the razorblades and let them meet my skin. I see the blood escape my veins and fall down to the floor.

'It's a nice shade of red,' I think to myself before everything goes black.


	13. Chapter 13

It's been four months since the accident. Thank God, Kairi has no respect for my privacy and rushed in there when she heard something fall to the floor. She called an ambulance when she saw me and here I am, alive and healthy.

I miss Axel. I really do. It aches to think about him, still I do every day. I still love him. I always did.

Every night, I get to relive that dreadful memory in my dreams.

__

"You don't ever take anything seriously!" I had exclaimed one day at the dinner table.

__

"Huh?" Axel had said, not having a clue about what I was talking about.

__

"You're so... CHILDISH! It's so annoying! Grow up, will ya?" I hissed and sighed.

__

"But Roxas..."

"SERIOUSLY! EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING PERFECT ALL THE TIME! WE DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL! START ACTING LIKE AN ADULT OR I'M LEAVING!"

Axel looked at me for a moment. _"I thought perfection was a good thing."_

_"Well, it's NOT!"_

"So, problems will make you happier?"

"Yes, now you get it!"

"I don't think you'll like it though."

And he was right. He was always right. I should've stayed quiet and enjoyed dinner. Maybe this wouldn't have happened if that had been the case. Maybe he'd still be here, joking and laughing with me.

I wonder if he still lives in the same house. I have 'happened to' walk by a couple of times and every time his house has been dark and looked abandoned. Maybe he has left town.

I go to the refrigerator and look for something to eat. Something unhealthy and sweet. The refrigerator is empty.

I really wanted some ice cream. I could call Kairi and ask her to buy some for me... But then she'll have to come here. And if she comes here she'll want to talk about my feelings.

I shiver as I decide to go buy ice cream myself. I put my coat on, grab the keys, lock the door and leave the building.

It's almost winter and cold outside. More then one year ago, I walked in the park with Axel on a day like this, holding hands and watching the leaves. Many things can change on a year, but I still don't have any gloves with me.

I walk down the streets slowly, letting the cold really get to me. I watch the leaves leave the trees once more. Last years leaves are dead and gone by now and all those leaves that ended up on rooftops are in a better place. Maybe it would be easiest for me to join them?

I shake the idea out of my head and continue towards the shop. It's not far from my apartment but since I'm walking slowly it'll take some time to get there. A snowflake land on my nose but immediately turn to water. 'Snow.' I think and look up to the skies.

As I'm looking up and not forward, I walk into someone.

"I'm sorry..." We mumble at the same time before our eyes meet.

Green, playful, smiling eyes look down on me from a serious face. Red, spiky hair, going in all directions, is horribly hidden under a hat and under the coat I see a T-shirt with some witty joke on. But I don't read the joke, I focus on the persons playful eyes.

"Roxas," The person states and smiles politely at me.

"Axel,"

* * *

**LalaHachi:** Cheesy ending, too much? I think I'll do an epilouge but otherwise this is the end.... Sorry if the ending sucked....


	14. Chapter 14

As I wake up the next morning I vaguely remember what happened yesterday. I notice I am unable to sit up because there's an arm around my waist and smile as I turn to the redhead lying in my bed. Axel.

I carefully get out of his grip and decide to make him breakfast. The phone rings and with great annoyance I see Kairi's name flash up. I sigh heavily as I pick up. "Hello, Kairi. What. Do. You. Want?" I hiss threatfully and I hear Axel chuckle from the bedroom.

"I saw you together with Axel yesterday," she states. "But nothing happened, right? Because…"

In the middle of Kairi's lecture, Axel decides to walk into the room, shirtless, and succesfully catches my attention, causing me not to hear what Kairi is trying to tell me.

"ROXAS! Is that okay with you?" She yells frustrated on the phone.

"What? Sure, whatever…" I mumble, hang up and put the phone on the table, walking over to Axel and tangling my body up with his.

If I had paid more attention to the phone before hanging up I would've caught Kairi saying "Okay, I'm on my way!".

Me and Axel were sitting at the breakfast table, eating breakfast while talking about random things. It was great to be together again. Then suddenly, the door bell rang. "Hmm, wonder who that is…" I mumbled as I went for it. I looked through the peephole to spot Kairi's red hair. "Oh no, it's Kairi…" I said as I slowly opened the door.

"Hi, Roxas! Is Axel here? He didn't come home with you yesterday, did he?" Kairi said nervously as she entered my apartment, looking in all directions.

Before I can say anything, Axel appears from the kitchen. "Hello, _Kairi_. And for what do I owe this _great _**pleasure**?"

"Axel, you son of a bitch!" Kairi exclaims and rushes towards him.

He holds out a hand to stop her. "Hold your horses. I'm here with Roxy!" And while saying that, he yanked an arm around my waist and pulled me into a kiss.

"Roxas! You did NOT just let him do that! After all he's done to you, how can you even consider doing something like that?" Kairi groaned and went for the door. "You know what! Suit yourself! It's you who will be heartbroken when it turns out he hasn't changed. At. ALL!"

And with those words she stormed out. I couldn't help but think that she was, deep down, right. But then again, right now, I didn't care.

"Roxas… I will never do that to you again…" Axel say sincerely and drag his hand through my hair.

"I know… They just need some time to melt it, I think." And by they, I mean our friends. I mean, my friends. They're not Axel's friends anymore.

"You want me to leave it to you or do you want me to help?" Axel asks as he pulls me onto his lap as he is now seated on my couch.

"I'll talk to them. If you're there, it will just end up in disaster," I state and smile apologizing at him.

"Yeah, I figured…" Axel mumble, stroking my cheek before embracing me again. The embrace was followed by a quick kiss. The quick kiss was followed by a another, longer kiss. And that lead to a point where me and Axel were in our own world. Well, that was until the door bell rang. I sighed as I went to open the door. Outside Riku, Sora, Olette and Naminé were standing.

Olette took two steps forward and slapped me. "Are you stupid or something?" She asked, the other stepping inside too.

"Or do you just WANT to be misery?" My cousin then asked, poking my forehead so I had to slightly bend backwards.

"'Cause that's what will happen if you get back together with Axel," Riku ended it.

I stumbled backwards, rubbing my forehead. "Axel, we have visitors…" I said, looking at my angry friends.

Axel entered the hall, and looked at my friends standing there before his face cracked up in a smile. "Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise! Do come in, I'm sure you have a lot to talk about!"

* * *

**LalaHachi:** I UPDATED! :D

I only did so because I got an email telling me too though -______-

Hehe, but I'll be updating soon ^^ (probably)


	15. Chapter 15

Axel claimed he was tired and had to take a nap, leaving me with the, to me, angry mob. They all stomp in and sit down in the couch motioning for me to sit down. I sit down, far away from everyone and wait for someone to say something. Riku lean back at me, giving the evil glare while Sora sighs, not even meeting my eyes. Olette and Naminé holds each others hands, looking at each other. And here I sit, waiting patiently for their judgment.

"Roxas..." Naminé starts looking down at her knees, sighing. "I know you think Axel is the only one for you but he's not!"

"That's right, Roxas! Just because you're becoming desperate doesn't mean you should just settle for anyone!" Olette chimes in.

I twitch as I hear what they're saying. "I know that. But I love Axel."

"No, you don't! You think you do because he's told you so but you don't!" Riku claims and frowns.

"But I do," I counter, frowning equally as much as Riku.

"Okay, so what if you do. Is it really worth it to go through all that pain again?" Sora asks, looking up at me and smiling a sad smile.

"He's changed. I know he has," I state, close my eyes and smile to myself.

"No. He. Hasn't!" Naminé hisses and everyone looks at her with a shocked expression. "Why can't you understand that people like him never change?"

"Everyone can change Naminé," I state and open my eyes.

"Roxas, this is your decision completely and we can't do anything about it. But we ask you one last time, please don't do this to yourself. It will end bad," Olette says as she puts an arm around an upset Naminé.

"He. Has. Changed! Seriously, what does he have to do to prove it to you?" I ask and scoff.

"We'll get back to you on that," Riku says, deep in thought. "But for now, suit yourself and be miserable!"

And with those words they walked out of the apartment. I couldn't help but let a tear fall as I slam the door behind them.

A couple seconds later, Axel is embracing me. "Don't worry, Roxas. I have changed and I'll prove it to them."

"I know you will," I say and kiss him.

…

"Explain yourself," Demyx and Zexion say as they corner me in a dark alley. Okay, it's actually more of trapping me against a tree but it's more effectfull with corners in dark alleys.

"I don't have to explain anything to you!" I say and try to get past them but with no success.

"Yes. You. Do," Demyx say and slam one fist into the tree, stopping me from going that direction. "Why do you insist on being together with the man who has cheated on you repeatedly and treated you like dirt?"

"I… Love him…" I get out and sink down to a sitting position.

Demyx and Zexion sighed and shook their heads.

Zexion sinks down so he is on the same eye-level as me. "But he's not good for you, and you know it!"

"He has changed!" I spit out and glare at them. "You just refuse to see it! You just assume I'm an idiot and can't take care of myself! But I know he has changed! Otherwise I wouldn't get together with him again!"

Demyx and Zexion were quiet for a second. "We just want what's best for you," Demyx said quietly.

"Then why don't you talk to Axel and see if he's really changed or not? Because I know he has!" I hissed and walked away, not bothering saying goodbye. Those idiots could go to hell for being such bitches.

…...

"What should we do?" Demyx mumbles only to see Zexion smile evilly.

"We should see if Axel's changed or not."

"Yeah, but how?" Demyx asks and looks confused.

"We just need a bait."

* * *

**LalaHachi:** Eh... I updated?

Oh and did you know these chapters are actually based on lyrics from Swedish songs? Of course you didn't ^^

The songs are really depressing... D: But good :3


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